"Oh, so you're a mix breed, mutt," the man said to my four year old son at the park, as he discovered his biracial genetic background.
My son quickly replied and ran off, with a shrug of the shoulder, "I'm not a mutt, I'm Ryker!"Although he did not know it at the time, my son's egocentric reaction was a very weighted statement. Thankfully, only I knew what intentions and values were behind the words this man spoke. I hope this man understood the truth behind my son's words as well.
A child asks his mother, "why do they look at me like that mommy?" Her sweat filled palm grasps her sons tiny hand and she pulls him along the summer kissed road as the three men stare with a piercing silence. "But mommy, I don't like it" ... "I know baby, I will explain when we get home" ... As her footsteps land on the dusty road, each one lands with the weight of her truths.
She recalls the screams and the moans of her taunted childhood living in her southern state. She thinks to herself "how am I going to tell my baby he is one of many prejudged human beings alive, in his own home, America" Her tears begin to fall. "Mommy whats wrong?" She responds, "the truth baby, the truth"... 
The long walk home gave her visions of how the blood drips and slips into the tears of sorrows from the many people she has known living in the turmoil of hatred as her silence has always been a remedy. Today though, her silence is not enough because her son wants to understand why eyes can pierce and a gaze can violate his mere presence. How does this mother explain, guide, heal, and nurture the cries and the lies of our history running together to make uncertain truths wide awake dreams about hatred only to leave nightmares for the living? How does she explain that people hate, just because, they do? She grapples on what she will say when he continues to ask why because his innocence has only been threatened thus far. How does she intervene so that his unforeseen yet guaranteed traumas will not transform into hatred as well? Like the weight of the world her footsteps are heavy on this walk home because in her almost 30 years of living she still cannot rationally explain, why. Why do they hate the skin we are in?
While looking for the answer she found her self looking at the question...
Ashleigh- Thank you for sharing your story. It brought tears to my eyes. My daughter is biracial as well. However, in my community many children look like her because there is a large population of biracial children, Latinos, and other ethnicities. I can't believe in a world that has so many different (and beautiful) ethnicities, that comments such as the one said to your son still occur. He is a very handsome boy, and he should be proud to have a loving and supporting mother like you. I hope that he will never have to experience that again.
ReplyDeletehello Ashleigh,
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful - or should I say handsome young man. The world is full of mean people. Suffering from low self esteem and just seem to want to hurt others ( relational aggression- Berger, 2009). I don't know what to say and I am sure that it breaks your heart that people can look at your beautiful child and say mean things. Just let him know that there are so many people who don't know him but will always send love and support and strength his way. One day the same people who looked on and said such means things will have to face their own truth ( they are the biggest mutts). Let's hope we can educate the world.
Berger, K.S. (2009), The developing person through childhood(5th ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers
Thank you for your story. In my eyes, there is nothing more beautiful than a biracial child. Not only the beautiful tone of their skin and softened features, but the love of two people that brought that child into the world. It is this love that will eventually change how people view other people. It may not be in our life time, but I DO believe it will change.
ReplyDeleteA boy came into my classroom last week wearing the most adorable shirt. It had several different colored Peeps (the candy) across it and it said "INSIDE we're all the same" - It was the first item of baby clothing that his mother purchased when she found out she was pregnant. If only everyone had this midset.
Nice share, thank you. I am biracial. I love that I am! Your son handled the situation perfectly. I still handle it the same way when I get those comments.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. He is a beautiful child and you are an amazing mom! Keep up the great work of instilling a positive self-image in him. And to heck with everyone else!
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